Time Marches On ...

Tonight marks the end of an era in my life. I have arrived at the 41st anniversary of birth. Wow ...

The funny thing is that I don't feel or think like a guy in his forties. Having young kids does that to you :)

So many things I wanted to have accomplished by now ...

So many decisions I'm proud of, so many others I wish I could do-over ...

And yet, the sun will come up in the morning and present me with another day in which to lead my family and myself.

It won't ask my thoughts about any one day in the first 40 years I've lived. I have no chance to defend or apologize for anything I've done.

I can only do what's right today.

I can rely on God's mercy once more.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day.

Time marches on ...

Mighty Mouse

February 9, 2012, will mark 5 years since my youngest son Nathan was born.  In case you don't already know, here is some of his story.

Nathan wasn't supposed to be possible.  Because of cancer treatments, his birth mother had been declared sterile.  The fact that he survived the first few months of life is a miracle!

Nathan was born via C-section at approximately 27.5 weeks.
He weighed only 2 pounds 4 ounces.
The doctors gave him a 50% chance of survival at best.

So incredibly tiny.
So perfectly formed.
So fragile.

I still remember the doctor holding him in one hand.
I still remember him struggling to breathe.
I still remember the NICU, and the care they provided him.

He spent 3 months in NICU.  I visited him every day for several hours.  I'll never forget walking in one day and he was struggling so much.  His vital signs were a mess.  I reached into the incubator to let him know that I was there.  He took my finger in his hand, and within a minute all his vital signs returned to normal levels.  

Through the years, he has remained totally healthy with no signs of any complications from birth.  He is honestly one of the coolest and funniest kids you will ever meet :)  His intense desire to get the most out of every moment inspires me, as if he knows deep inside that he's a miracle.

You'll have to pardon me a minute while I brag on someone.  Renee', you were and still are a Godsend to me and 'the kids'.  I have watched you take on the responsibility of raising 4 kids and never look back.  Thanks is totally insufficient and incapable of describing my feelings.  Your bond with Nathan is an integral part of his success.  I love you :)

Pictures are great, and I love taking them, but sometimes they don't do justice to the message.  With that in mind, here are a few snapshots we took this past weekend in a return trip to the NICU.  I hope you enjoy them.

This last one shows just how far he's come.  The bear is roughly the size of Nathan at birth, and he's wearing a diaper and the sunglasses that each preemie wears in the NICU.

I've said for years, mostly in jest, that God watches out for babies and idiots, and that I don't really care which one He thinks I am as long as He's watching out for me :)  God has really blessed us with Nathan.

Happy Birthday Mighty Mouse!

Usable (S)crap

I'm in the process.
Of a lot of things.

Family.
Salvation.
Work.
Ministry.
Photography.

Sometimes I don't quite make the cut.

Some of my efforts wind up as scrap pieces of me,
laying on the floor.

Abandoned.
Useless.

One of the things I'm involved with (at my day job) is building a plastic extrusion machine, which takes millions of tiny pieces of plastic and forms them into a usable product.  This process involves tons of pressure, almost unbearable heat, some stretching, cooling, cutting, etc.  The master computer monitors each step of the process, and adjusts as necessary to make the finished product perfect.  The process itself guarantees that there will be some portion of the product that becomes scrap, but the design allows for that scrap to be re-introduced to the process.

How many times has God started over with me?
How much of my (s)crap has God been willing to work over again?

Jeremiah 18:1-4 NLT is speaking to me today:
"The Lord gave another message to Jeremiah.  He said, "Go down to the potter's shop, and I will speak to you there."  So I did as He told me and found a potter working at his wheel. But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over."
(emphasis mine)

God, thank you for never giving up on me.
Thank you for wanting to mold me into a useful product.
Please keep monitoring the process to ensure that I turn out right.
Even when I give you (s)crap.